Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
