I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
