I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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