I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
