just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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