Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
