hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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