no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
