how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
