i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
