we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
