The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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