so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
