she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
