And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
