Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
