you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize