I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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