i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize