dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
