Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
