plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
