I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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