you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
