I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
