Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
