My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
