Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
