she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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