yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
