How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
