He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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