are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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