What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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