we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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