The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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