Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
