she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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