The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
