So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think people are normalizing furries
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
