I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
