I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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