I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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