Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
