I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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