Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
