Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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