the day after is always just damage control
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
