is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
