how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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