ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
