I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
