I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
