Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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