Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
