Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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