What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
