I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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