just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
