My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
