Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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