When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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