I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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