Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So here I am, sexting at work.
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