we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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