Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize