Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
