Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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